


Edgy Dad: Cuss words.

by CrazyM



Series: Domestic animals. [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: 76 is a bad dad., D.va is still a kid, Dad Soldier: 76 | Jack Morrison, Drabbles, Fair, Gen, Pachimari!!!!!, Strict Mercy, bad role modelling, mama Mercy, unintended swear words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-11 21:38:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13533057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyM/pseuds/CrazyM
Summary: Jack Morrison never thought his role modelling would come undone when he would attempt to get Mercy a Pachimari plush with the claw.





	Edgy Dad: Cuss words.

Jack rapped on door after door in the hallways as Mercy set the plates at the dining table downstairs.

"Breakfaaaaaaaaast!" 76 roared, waking everyone(and maybe even the neighbours) up.

Slowly, the team started filing downstairs and assembled on the tables. Winston grumbled because he did not get bananas and peanut butter. 

Tracer, Lucio, Widowmaker, McCree, Genji and Hanzo sat on one side, facing Winston, Junkrat, Mei, Roadhog, Reaper and Symmetra. 76 sat at the head chair, Facing Mercy. Genji and Reaper had no business here, but they were still made to sit just so that 76 can keep an eye on them. Zarya came to sit on the second-last seat and 76 saw D.va's seat empty.

Mercy noticed this too and began to rise. "I'll get he-"

But 76 was already out of the dining room.

D.va was busy playing multiplayer on one of those wretched FPS games. She was so into the game that she did not flinch when the door flew open.

"Hana" He said.

She continued.

"Hana!" He said, louder.

as if on cue, someone shot her avatar dead and she threw the gamepad in exasperation. And then yelled expletives in Korean that would make sailors blush. She did not expect 76 to understand this, but as a soldier stationed across the globe, the first things he ever learnt in a language were the swear words.

"HANAAAAAA SOOOOOOOONG!" he exploded, freezing D.va with horror. Everyone downstairs flinched. Symmetra, caught mid swallow, choked on a morsel and Zarya tended to her. Symmetra bets to this date that if the morsel had not come out on the second Heimlich maneuver, the third one would have required Mercy to pop her lungs back in. Winston coughed and Junkrat almost sprayed the orange juice all over the table.

Hana, white with horror, recoiled at the figure of 76 towering over her. The darkness of the room and the light from the screen made him even scarier. She had no doubts that 76 had caught each and every swear word she had uttered.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" he growled.

"s-s-sorry?" D.va squeaked, her face pale, eyes wide. 

Everyone, especially the Aussies, made sure never to let out any bad words because the father-daughter licking was nuclear. 76 and D.va missed breakfast entirely, prompting Mercy to take their plates up to them. 76 wanted to persist, but no one overrides mama Mercy.

The rest of the team knew what D.va's punishment was when they saw her slink towards the kitchen and then heard the faint noise of cutlery.

______________________________

After the episode had blown over, there was a fair around fifteen minutes from the house. D.va wanted to go, but she was pretty much sure that 76 was still pissed at him. So she dragged Lucio and told him about her plan and his role in it.

"Come on, ask him!" D.va elbowed Lucio. They were outside 76's room, right at the door. Lucio hesitated.

Tracer was walking by and spotted the two. She blinked right behind them and whispered.

"Boo."

D.va jumped out of her skin and Lucio lunged at her face, covering her mouth. Tracer shook silently with bottled laughter but it died down when she caught the pair glaring daggers at her.

"What's up, love?" She quipped, hoping to lighten D.va's scowl.

Lucio tells her. Tracer wordlessly stands up and barges in. Lucio lunges again and pulls D.va out of the door's visible range.

All they hear are inscrutable words and a final grunt from 76. Tracer walks out, closes the door gently behind her and turns to the two. She looks at the expectant faces.

"Done" she says and walks off.

D.va begins to scream in triumph but Lucio lunges at her again, silencing her. They tiptoe away and tell the rest of the team.

Winston says no, Reaper dissolves in thin air, Widowmaker stays at the fence, Genji and Hanzo say yes reluctantly and McCree straight away walks off. The rest reply with enthusiasm.

Before long, the people interested to go were assembled in Mercy's minivan. Widowmaker agreed at the last minute and took the rearmost seat with D.va. 76's car can only take four at most. Mercy was at the driver's seat, with 76 in the passenger seat and tomb-like silence in the car. Lucio thinks of playing his music but he remembers the "joke" he was made a part of, shudders and then goes still again. Mercy resorts to tapping at the wheel with her fingers rhythmically. After fiften long minutes, they reach the fair and shoot off the minivan.

Led by Tracer, the squad takes their tickets and move to the first stall, which housed the gifts. D.va takes a look and spots a mug saying #1 Dad and its counterpart, #1 Mom. the squad confers to D.va's decision and she proceeds to buy, only to be stopped and told by the keeper that the mug pair cost one hundred and fifty tickets. Sighing, they move off the counter and Zarya spots the first game- an arcade that measures strength. She hands her money to the disgruntled keeper and takes the hammer. The others watch from behind. She lifts it above her head,shouts and swings down. The bell, instead of a usual _ding_ , let out a _dong_ , meaning her protein shakes and supersets were working. The second and third strikes were done with in a similar manner and the team was clapping at the end. The keeper gave her thirty tickets, just to keep her off round two.

The squad spotted the second game and ran off, not noticing the bell falling off the arcade.

The second game involved tiny poles and a lot of rings. Three poles were at the front, two in the middle and one in the back. The Shimada brothers brush everyone aside, pay, and take the rings. They look at each other and bend knees slightly. they then look forwards.

"RYUU GA WAGA TEKI NO KURAU!" Hanzo screams.

"RYUJIN NO KEN WO KURAE!" Genji screams.

and then they throw the rings like Shuriken, each of them landing flawlessly on the rearmost pole. When the rearmost pole was full, they proceeded to stack rings on rings on the other poles, amidst cheers from the team. When they were done, all the tiny poles were stacked to the top with rings. The keeper, absolutely stunned, offered them tickets instead of gifts because that would mean running out of them and then closing shop. Genji and Hanzo walked away like heroes, with fifty tickets among them. 

Eighty tickets in, the squad needed seventy more. They then moved to the next stall which had a little rifle bolted to the counter and tons of moving targets, which were metaphorically depicted as sitting ducks. The backdrop was a lake. The keeper here looked pretty confident that no one could hit all of them, and offered a hundred tickets to those who could. Everyone moved aside and Widowmaker walked to the counter, paid the amount and took aim. The targets started moving.

"I seeeee youuuuuu." Widowmaker teased, and her helmet locked into place.

The next two minutes were a massacre. Widowmaker missed no target and the keeper's smile faded away as Widowmaker shot target after target, each target pinging as it was hit. The targets moved up, down, left to right and right to left. But the woman who had taken out Overwatch's best sniper, failed to miss. When all the sitting ducks were shot, the keeper silently raised the hundred tickets, a resigned expression on his face.

"C'est la vie" Widowmaker spoke for the keeper, swiped the tickets off his hands and walked off while the squad looked on in awe.

Now they had a hundred and eighty tickets, but they decided to visit other stalls nonetheless. Junkrat and Roadhog killed it on Dunk the clown, Symmetra destroyed the stacker, bringing her architecture skills into play. After they were done with the games, they mobbed the cotton candy guy, each taking one. Genji and Hanzo took small, measured bites, Junkrat and Roadhog chomped down the sweet almost immediately and the others were a little in between. The mugs were bought from the keeper and each took a little something for themselves. Tracer took a banana keychain for Winston, Widowmaker took a laser pointer. Junkrat and Roadhog were stared down from robbing anything by Genji and Hanzo.

When the team were done with the fair, they returned to the minivan and assembled, 76 and Mercy in their places. Mercy was wearing a scowl, and 76 was experssionless(they could not see his face through the mask so they always assumed him to be expressionless). There was silence during the ride home. Everyone could sense the tension in the air between 76 and Mercy. 76 turned his head towards Mercy, to prbably talk and her right hand, which was on the steering wheel, shot up, showing a prohibiting finger.

"Don't!" she snapped. 76 sighed and resigned to looking out of the windshield.

"What the hell happened?" Lucio whispered loud enough for the team to hear.

Everyone shrugged.

______________________________

Mercy and 76 were moving alongwith the squad, far out of their range of sight. 76 proposed that they make it a little date, and Mercy was happy that he did. They took a ride on the merry-go-round, and then strolled to the Ferris wheel, where they sat close together. The house of horrors was a little boring, because nothing in the house scared Mercy or 76. The picture was very comical as well, with both of them side by side, clutching the bar, their faces deadpan.

Mercy insisted on buying her a cotton candy as well.

While coming back, Mercy sighted the claw, which was full of Pachimari plushes. She looked at 76 pleadingly and he sighed, taking the joystick and pushing in a coin. He managed to grab a Pachimari pretty quickly, but dropped it wrong. It hit the border and bounced back, joining the others.

76 growled, and Mercy covered her mouth to suppress her giggle. He pushed in another coin.

This time he carefully picked up a plush and moved it slowly to the drop zone, but he ran out of time halfway through.

"Blast!" He growled. He pushed another coin in. He did not notice other children lining up to play as well, alongwith their parents.

He picked up a Pachimari again and moved the claw towards the drop zone. Mercy watched with bated breath. But as he moved to hit the release button, the plush slipped off the claw and joined the sea of Pachimari.

"SON OF A BITCH!!!!!" he roared, throwing his hands up in exasperation. Behind him, her heard gasps. He turned around to see Mercy with her hands covering her mouth, shocked, and behind her were mothers and fathers covering their children's ears, shooting him disapproving glares. Mercy then dropped her hands to her hips and her scowl was a thing to behold. She wanted to clean his mouth out with soap. Literally.

"JACK MORRISOOOOOOON!" She screamed, making Jack flinch. 

Mercy-76 licking was even worse, with Jack slouching forwards, his hands by his sides. Mercy chastised him with the cotton candy in her hand, drawing amused stares from everyone around. He wordlessly sat in the minivan, and Mercy threw the soggy sweet out of the window into the trash can. The team then arrived.

______________________________

Everyone knew Jack's punishment as well, and it was doing the dishes. While wiping the last mug off, he noticed that it was pretty new and turned the mug in his hands to see. He first assumed it was Tracer's new cup, the replacement for the one Mercy had chucked at him, but then he noticed the words #1 Dad and sighed. He set it on the countertop and smiled under his mask. He took off the apron, shot another look at the gift he had received, and walked out of the kitchen.

While walking back, he saw Mercy on the sofa, her legs folded under her, leaning against the backrest, reading Dostoevsky. He also spotted the #1 Mom cup beside her and tried to meet her eyes, but she gallantly refused. Slouching, he went upstairs and closed himself inside his room.

Mercy, while going to her room, set a glass jar with a handwritten label on the dining table and climbed the stairs.

CUSS JAR, the label said.


End file.
